Awakening

Three years. I've spent three years not driving my Fića due to a crappy restoration.

Ever since it arrived, I was constantly discovering something else that wasn't right. A blind monkey's half-assed attempt at wiring, together with 'new' parts that either didn't work or were missing altogether pushed my poor little car into the depths of immobility.

My hopes of ever driving it toppled like dominos with every problem I discovered. The lights couldn't work properly. The engine wouldn't stay on. The handbrake didn't work at all.

And it was all perfectly preventable.

Review: 2014 BMW i3

We've just traveled to the end of the century. Global warming has flooded coastlines and there's been a drastic drop in human population. Cities are completely automated and antiseptic.

The march of technology has since trampled the trades – all repairs are down to a programmer doing a software reflash. Something like a handcrafted table is as rare and desirable as a Van Gogh was ten decades prior...

What ethics a robot should abide by is on the mind of nobody. Robots capable of emulating thoughts and emotions have wound themselves into the fabric of this function-over-form society long ago. No, the hot topic of the day is, must a robot be mortal to have a soul?

By the way, the time machine we used wasn't a booth or an 88-MPH DeLorean, but a watch. A simple watch. One with a touchscreen display where you enter the time you want to travel to and how long until it should automatically bring you back. Fail to physically touch it when the timer hits zero and it'll return to the past without you...

Review: 2014 Subaru Forester 2.5i

Last year, I had a chance to take a crack at the previous-generation Forester, finding it to be capable if uninspiring. Now I have an opportunity to review its successor, the all-new-for-2014 model in this absolutely lovely shade of gold – sorry, Burnished Bronze...yeah right.

Were it about the color alone, I'd fail this car right now. But since the new Forester looks exactly one billion times better in any other hue, I can allow myself to be just and impartial in my assessment.

Review: 2014 Chevrolet Malibu

Integrity is hard to find in the dating scene. While many girls use it sparingly to accent what's already there, a growing number put on so many tons of makeup that even their mothers can't recognize them when they go out – which may have been the point, come to think of it.

Anyway, many guys pursue these girls having no idea that their apparent beauty is an iron mask. By the time it comes off, irrevocable promises have already been made. So these guys feel cheated – and the use of makeup is ruined for everyone...

It's the same with cars.

Review: 2014 Toyota Highlander Hybrid Limited

Ever shopped for an electric toothbrush? It sways you with the idea of better cleaning than a regular one. But while you're already getting an electric toothbrush, you might as well get one with a timer. Or the one with three different types of cleaning heads. Or one that also shoots mouthwash between your molars.

Pretty soon, you get the feeling that those $230 could have been better spent on something else...

Let me come back to that.

Review: 2013 Volkswagen Beetle Turbo

The first-ever FIFA World Cup happened in 1930. Having then been in existence for 67 years, it was about time for football to have an organized international competition...

The country I'm from has been playing football for most of the sport's existence. So when word about the Cup got out, it wasn't a question of if we were going – it was a question of organizing ourselves. Ultimately, our final placement (fourth) was eclipsed by the legendary events that led to it.

Like all other 'football nations', we've since developed a dedicated fan-base for whom the world stops when a match is on.